What Makes You Happy?

Back at my grandparents ranch the young girl sat on my soft armchair which rested in the reading room. Unnoticed I watched her gaze into the flame of the candle resting on the coffee table in front of her. Eventually, she felt my presence and looked up from the candle to meet my gaze. "Hi Gabriel." She greeted in a soft voice.

"Hello." I answered back in a friendly tone while setting down a tray with hot chocolate and cookies. "I made a cup for you as well." I said while taking my own and sipping down the warmth. Renee's eyes gave off a light twinkle as she reached out for her mug and thanked me. "No problem. What brings you all the way out here though?" I mean it was mid-winter here in Ireland, not exactly visiting weather.

Renee's violet eyes looked down into her cocoa and then around the room before finally resting on mine. I could feel her battling herself to find the right words. Why did she always have to be so precise with what she says? Sometimes it's just best to just say what comes to mind without censorship. It causes us to back off the original thought and then something could be lost because of it. "It's ok Renee. Let me know what's bothering you."

"I'm sorry." She whispered while using the fingers of her left hand to rub the mug while the right held on tightly. "It's just...how do you always seem so happy?" The question threw me off and I wasn't exactly sure what she was getting at.

"You've lost so much." She continued, "But I never see you angry or depressed with all that's happened to you. How do you do that? How does the past not come back to haunt you?" I thought hard at her question and bought some time by sipping at my cocoa and munching on a cookie.

"Well," I started off, "I found the Goddess. In my time of need she came through for me when there was no one else and for that I am eternally grateful. I express that through being happy with each day. Through her and Mamó's teachings I've learned to find the good in every situation and find things to pull me through my times of struggle."

"Vivre et aimer comme il est de votre dernier jour sur terre." I said with a smile.

"What does that mean?" Renee asked me confused.

"It's French. It basically means 'Live and love like it is your last day on earth.' My Grandfather would say that when trying to justify some of his more...reckless behavior. Or mine." I added the last bit with a laugh and a sly smile.

"See like that!" Renee shouted as she stood from her chair and pointed accusingly at me. "You've lost them so recently and are still able to look back at moments with them and smile. How is that? When I look at my past I feel nothing but sorrow, regret, or longing." I couldn't help but chuckle at her outburst and gently motioned her to sit down before I spoke.

"It's not like I don't feel any sorrow or loss. I miss them terribly. But there's no room for the future if I am constantly trying to live in the past. And don't focus on all the bad or upsetting moments you have had. Instead think of times you were most happy and hold onto that feeling. Then use that energy and happiness throughout the day. It's bound to infect someone else and then you feel good for lifting another person. So think Renee, what are some things or people that are worth being happy?" I could tell she needed no time to think this over, though I was a bit disappointed in her answer. "Friends and family" was what she said.

"That's nice and all, and I know you mean it but...that's too broad Renee. It makes it too hard for your mind to focus on that strand of happiness and so you're not able to hold onto that joyous feeling. So try again, what's one thing or person that can make your darkest of days bright? No one is judging and there's no need to make everyone feel good. So think hard." Again the girls’ small violet eyes searched my walls for an answer and though at first I saw desperation as she thought, suddenly there was a change. Her eyes softened and she seemed to be somewhere else as a smile creped onto her face.

"There's this boy." She finally said. "Whenever I'm with him everything just seems...better. I'm so at ease and all my problems seem to vanish. And when he holds me I feel so happy." Her voice was quiet and the more she spoke the more flushed she became. It seemed as though this was the first time she spoke of such feelings.

"Well there you go." I said nonchalantly. "Not only have you found a source of happiness, you have found love." Renee's eyes widened in shock. Had she seriously not thought of the possibility of being in love with this boy of hers?

"Love?" She murmured softly, testing how the word felt on her lips. "I love him." She said confidently. A rush of warmth exploded within her body at the sound of the sentence and a joyous grin occupied her face.

"Yes." I responded with a smile as well, feeling joy for my friends’ discovery. "So what will you do now?" I asked curiously.

"I'm going to tell him!" She busted with excitement and jumped out of her chair while placing her empty mug on the tray. Then she embraced me in a hug and thanked me for my help and friendship.

"I'll visit you again soon I promise! And I'll let you know how everything goes!"
"I'm looking forward to it." I said as the hug was broken and I watched her race out my front door so as to be in time for the next flight to Wisconsin.